they hate when you serve dynamic and multifaceted thought daughter

a quiet life, change etc

The past week, I’ve been trying to find inspiration in various ways to fuel my creativity and get me writing. I’ve listened to Norah Jones to pretend I’m a frazzled English woman, visited about ten thrift stores to slowly browse the racks and see if anything sparks some joy, and even picked up a few new books to see what captures my interest. Some days, I’m ready to write morning and night, feeling so much emotion that I could water my IKEA plants with my own tears. Other days, I could stare at a wall for hours and completely lose track of time.

Maybe it comes with age, or perhaps it’s because being an online creative for the past five or so years has left me completely burnt out, but my hobbies and interests have changed drastically. Previously, I would fully commit myself to my career, attending numerous events each week that involved mingling with other influencers for hours on end. I constantly pre-shot content to ensure I could post every night at 8:30 p.m. on the dot and meticulously planned my outings according to the outfits I needed to photograph. It was manic but also all I knew.

The past year has been quite transformative. From settling into married life further to addressing my mental health and physical well-being, and even stepping back from my career both intentionally and unintentionally due to the ongoing genocide in Palestine, I’ve found myself increasingly indifferent to materialism and shallow content. My relationship with brands has also been affected, whether on my end or theirs (ugh). So, it’s safe to say I’ve been doing fewer outfit-of-the-day posts and content planning and spending more time on solo café dates, reflecting on life and enjoying it so much that I even create mood boards on how to slow down in other ways.

I’ve mentioned before that the fashion and beauty industry isn’t a long-term or sustainable career for a Muslim woman with any form of worldly opinions, and I still believe that. Honestly, it’s no surprise that I won’t be a content-creating fanatic forever, especially since I already do significantly less online compared to previous years. BUT, I’m still a fashion enthusiast at heart and find joy in my online community, loving the process of documenting a great outfit. I guess I’m wondering: why can’t I do both without sacrificing one for the other?

What inspired me to write today were two things: seeing my kitchen bathed in the morning sunlight with a pot of chicken soup on the stove and dirty coffee cups in the sink, and a quote I saw on TikTok that said, “Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.” These two moments made me realise that I have, in fact, been inspired this week by the idea that a slower life doesn’t seem so bad. If you had told 18-year-old me this, I would have laughed. To be honest, that younger version of myself is still part of me—I love working and being so busy that my feet go numb. I was once so afraid of settling into a suburban routine that any sort of ‘slow life’ seemed like a waste of potential. But now, I can say I no longer equate a ‘slow life’ with having ‘no life.’ This shift in perception and attitude feels like a groundbreaking change.

Notes from Mum aka the OG in accepting evolution and encouraging change

At 25, I’m finding a balance between enjoying my career and setting professional goals, while also embracing home life—cooking, reading, writing, and buying secondhand decor. I appreciate spending some weeks in an introverted mode and others being more extroverted. This balance might sound minor to some, but for me, it’s been quite revolutionary. My anxiety often masks my feelings of joy or curiosity with panic, leading me to avoid anything new. Oh, the duality of being a woman!

Is it possible to have a feminine urge to write on my patio with an oat latte and add charming images of vintage childhood bedrooms to a Pinterest board for my future child, while also planning what new recipe to try for dinner? And can I also want to work hard, break into a challenging industry, and perform at my best without being questioned about my absence—whether it’s assumed I’m pregnant or that my increased online activity means my husband and I have broken up? It’s laughable, but yes, I do get asked these things.

I think social media has led us to feel like we need to pick a box. We’re expected to choose a character to play, and anything outside of that character’s expectations seems wrong. We have to select a clothing aesthetic, a home style, and even a specific personality and branding. But how is this possible when humans are constantly evolving? Interests change, hobbies shift, and people themselves change over time.

We often perceive each other as almost fictional, like characters from a fairytale, as if they’re a fragment of someone’s imagination. But in both my imagination and reality, I am a blend of many things. I am a sister, a daughter, a wife, and a friend. I am also the main character in a 2000s New York-based romcom and a fairy living in a cottage who makes hand-carved wood necklaces. We are all dynamic and multifaceted.

I write this as a reminder that it’s okay to evolve and change overtime. That it’s okay to shift focus and find joy in new things. To live authentically and celebrating all aspects of yourself and all things life has to offer is better than living in curiosity of what could have been.

As you grow up your hobbies change, your environment changes and ultimately you change which is okay. Change isn’t always bad and if anything is a reflection of growth. I envision it as a change in soil, A new shampoo, trying a new coffee spot or even buying a new lip liner. You might not like it but how else would you have known?